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My husband Stan and I have been together since I was 20 and he was 18. Now, I’m 37 and he’s 35. Together for 17 years (legally married for 11 years). We have a son and a daughter, ages 14 and 8. Stan and his best friend Jimmy have been best friends since elementary school. For the sake of my husband and how much I love him, I tolerated Jimmy for SEVENTEEN YEARS, but I swear I am DONE with him. Stan and I recently moved to California, we’re originally from Arizona along with most of our family and friends. Stan has been in Arizona without me and the kids for 5 weeks now; he’s coming back on Thursday. His stepmother was sick(she died 3 weeks ago) and he helped take care of her until then. His father’s been dead for 14 years already, so now it’s just him, his siblings and stepsiblings.

I know Stan is grieving and believe me, I feel awful. If it wasn’t for work, the kids and I would be in Arizona with him. HOWEVER, he’s obviously not too devastated to be hanging out with Jimmy all the time. How about he spend more time with his siblings who are also mourning their mother/stepmother???? The thing that makes me so uncomfortable about Jimmy is that his sister Janice lives across the street from him and she’s had a thing for my husband since forever. She never outgrew her childhood crush and it’s sad. She claims to be bi, so she flirts with me too. Stan thinks it’s cute but I don’t. Jimmy always resented my relationship with Stan. I don’t understand why Janice has to hang with Jimmy and Stan everywhere they go. When I expess my discomfort, my husband brushes me off. Jimmy is a bad influence, he’s known to get all of his buddies together and go clubbing and flirting with women when they ALL have wives. My husband behaves though and he thinks that’s all should matter but NO. I don’t like the influence his friend has on him. Honestly, jimmy’s “bond” with my husband scares me sometimes. Stan told me that Jimmy told his own wife that Stan will always come before her if he had to choose. If he expects my husband to put him before me, he is mistaken. My man comes before any of my girlfriends. No one except my children come before my husband, that is it. Stan, Jimmy, Janice and a few other went out to a bar together. I lost it and had a huge argument with Stan’s DRUNKASS over the phone. He doesn’t get it. I don’t think he’s screwing with Janice; I’m just uncomfortable with her presence and my absence. Stan and I have cheated on each other a few times a LONG time ago but we vowed that once we tied the knot, all that stops. I kept my promise for 11 years and I’m sure he has too. But still, am I being too unreasonable?

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